I am proud of myself. Those who know me understand that those words don’t come easily. Let me back up to explain.
Last Saturday I rolled out of bed and went downstairs to get coffee. My son’s ninth grade science homework was sitting open on the table. I am not sure what prompted me to look at it, but a brief look had me certain of one thing. I had no idea what any of it meant.
I was mildly aware of a small voice in the back of my head. I didn’t listen to it closely, but I know it said something not too nice. Something along the lines of “what is wrong with you that you can’t understand a ninth grader’s homework?”
At this point, I was laughing at myself, but the feeling of stupidity planted a seed. The seed grew when, later in the day, I set out to figure out how to use WordPress to create an actual blog site. I love writing, but technology is another language for me. In general, I am not embarassed to admit that I am “technologically challenged.”
I started out with my computer and an online tutorial. It went somewhat well. I did a lot of aimless “clicking” and got it right eventually.
With the first steps done, I started to struggle. I became more frustrated by the minute. Worse yet, that mean voice from the morning was getting louder. Now I could hear it clearly.
“What is wrong with you that you can’t figure this out?” the voice yelled.
Now, I would never dream of saying that to someone else. So, as I would ask my clients, why was I saying it to myself? I don’t think I am alone in jumping to criticize myself. However, when I am not at my whit’s end with frustration, I know that nobody can understand everything.
Last Saturday I had to put away the computer and take a break. I wasn’t going to make progress in my frustrated state. I came back to it briefly during the week when I had small bits of time. However, the true progress came this morning.
I decided to bite the bullet and call tech support. Thirty-ish minutes later, my blog was up and running. I was feeling super proud of myself!
Big shout out of thanks to Ky at Bluehost tech support. Not only did he solve my problem, but he didn’t make me feel stupid in the process!
I still have a ton to learn about WordPress. Perhaps more importantly, I need to hold on to this feeling of pride when I can’t figure the next thing out. I need to remember that none of us can be great at even close to everything all the time. It doesn’t make me stupid, just human.
