Do you ever wonder whether your therapist knows the perfect way to handle relationships, emotions and the realities of every day life?
Are therapists perfect at handling these things in their own lives?
I have frequently chuckled when my clients, or friends assume the answers to these questions are “yes.” I have news for you. Psychologists are just like everyone else. My relationships are no more perfect than most. My emotions sometimes get the best of me. Life often feels very stressful.
Almost daily something comes up that makes me wish life came with an instruction book. A recent walk through the self-help aisle of my book store makes me confident that I am not alone in this desire. There is an overwhelming quantity of books written on topics such as parenting, relationships and stress-management, just to name a few. The message I walk away with is that there is no one right way to do any of these things. If there was, we would only have one book on each topic. Instead, we have to decide how to incorporate the sometimes-contradictory bits of advice into our own lives.
I consider myself very fortunate to be trained in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). As a psychologist, I have had the privilege of watching so many of my clients transform their lives using these strategies. In doing so, I have also learned to use these strategies to greatly improve my own life. Though, just to be clear, neither my clients nor I use these skills effectively even close to 100% of the time!
One of the basic assumptions of DBT is that “everyone is doing the best they can AND we all need to do better.” The first part of that statement is a fact we often lose sight of. Yet, is there anyone out there who wants to behave in ineffective ways?
The second part of the statement is one of the reasons for this blog. While we are doing the best we can with the skills we currently have, we need to constantly challenge ourselves to learn new ideas that help us do even better. Each of us has a unique perspective to help in this pursuit – me included.
It is my hope to use this blog as a platform for sharing my professional and personal experiences. How do I utilize my professional training in my day to day life? I can assure you that my training sometimes guides me to greater success in my personal life. Just as frequently, I struggle to figure out the best approach to handle a situation. Maybe we can all learn from both my successes and my challenges…..or a least share a good laugh.
There is no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let others get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections. – Livestrong
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