Observing Pandemic Choices Without Judgment

There is no doubt that I am currently spending far more time on the news and Facebook than I typically do. I am trying to balance my need for information with some healthy distraction.

 

I read an article that frightened me. Yes, all the articles on the crisis in New York and projected world deaths scare me. This article, however, scared me in a different way.

 

The article explained that armed vigilantes blocked a neighbor’s driveway with a tree to force him into quarantine. I get it. People are scared. People are scared of getting sick. People are scared of getting others sick. People are scared they won’t be able to support their families. I am scared too.

 

The fear that this article drove home is my fear that people’ panic is leading to harsh judgment, which, in turn leads to harsh words and behaviors. This judgement is passed on strangers and loved ones alike.

 

I will not claim to be innocent of this judgement. I do not agree with a lot of things being said right now and I agree strongly with others. The reality is I don’t know if people are making the right choices. Hell, I don’t know if I am making the right choices!

 

I do, however, know I am doing the best I can in a stressful time. Aren’t we all?

 

One of my favorite underlying assumptions of DBT is that “people are doing the best they can.” I know it doesn’t always seem like it, but think about it for a moment. DBT expands on this idea to explain that everyone is operating in the context of their personal environment, knowledge, genetics, previous experiences and so much more. Given this context, in each moment in time, each person is doing the best they can.

 

This assumption does not rule out the idea that people often need to do better, work harder and increase their motivation to change. This is true for most of us in dealing with our first ever pandemic. That does not negate that each person is doing the best they can in each moment.

 

Remembering this can help us utilize another skill of importance in these trying times. In its teachings of mindfulness skills, DBT emphasizes “observing without judgement.” Specifically, it teaches the importance of avoiding evaluative judgements. These are the evaluations we add to facts that are based on our own opinions and values. For example, it is a fact that I am 5 foot 2 inches tall. To call me short is an evaluative judgement (that most people make).

 

The goal of non-judgementalness is to avoid judgements that evaluate facts as good, or bad. Observing facts allows us to see differences without assumptions that one is right and one is wrong. It is important to note that a non-judgmental stance does not mean approval. At the same time, viewing others through a lens of non-judgement fosters connectedness rather than harshness and anger.

 

Evaluative judgements are currently filling the news and social media. Unfortunately, I think the world’s general sense of anxiety fuels them. We feel safer when we can judge others as wrong. It gives us an outlet for fear and anger.

 

It is my hope that we can work to decrease these emotions by observing each other without judgement rather than fueling these emotions with our opinions. I know I have a long way to go, but I will keep reminding myself that everyone is doing their best during an experience that is completely novel. Lets try not to add to others’ stress by judging their best as right or wrong.

 

 

Click HERE to follow Psychdivry on Facebook and receive links to new blog posts.

Please follow and like us: