I was fortunate enough to spend 5 days in Barcelona with my husband and sister this past week. It was an amazing trip. Like many of us, I was in desperate need of some time away with people I love, and, I have been wanting to experience more of the world. Barcelona is a beautiful city in which to do that.
I realized a few things on this trip, but my greatest moment of clarity came at the magnificent Sagrada Familia, a cathedral designed by Antoni Gaudi. The cathedral is pictured above and was more breathtaking in person. However, the moment of clarity came from the observation of the view across the street, which is pictured below.
So, on one side of the street, we have one of the worlds most renowned architectural accomplishments. As I walked down the street looking to one side, I was mesmerized. Yet, on the other side of the street, was the simplicity and realities of everyday life. They were both there, in the same experience, and both vying for attention.
The result for me was two thoughts. I was reminded of a post I had shared on Instagram that cautions us to avoid comparing our “behind the scenes lives” to other people’s “highlight reels.” The cathedral was a highlight reel, but the view across the street, or, the “behind the scenes life” was happening at the same time.
The previous day, I had turned to Facebook to share a picture of my husband and I enjoying our first sangria in a beautiful Barcelona plaza. That picture was quickly followed by a picture of my sister and I after she surprised me in the plaza. My husband had pulled off a wonderful surprise. I was having a great first day.
That said, I was not posting pictures of some of the other realities. My husband and I had landed in this plaza because we were not able to check into our hotel yet. We had taken an overnight flight, so we slept sitting upright, hadn’t had the opportunity to shower, or brush our teeth. We were happy, but also feeling pretty grody. To add to that, I was developing one hell of a head cold!
I am in no way trying to say that we were not happy. I am simply pointing out that there was more than the highlight reel to be seen. To counter the beautiful cathedral experience, there was the McDonalds experience!
This brings me to my second realization. I had a choice to make. I could focus my attention on sangria in the plaza with two of my favorite people, or I could focus my attention on the need for a good night’s sleep, a shower and some cold medicine. I am often overly distracted by discomforts like the latter. Similarly, as I walked down the street in Barcelona, I could quite literally turn my head to focus on the awe-inspiring cathedral or turn my head the other way and focus on the mundane McDonalds and Five Guys (not to diminish these wonderful fast food eatsJ).
This choice pertains to life every day. While it is not effective to compare our lives to other people’s highlights, it is a great idea to focus on experiencing our own highlights. As a DBT oriented psychologist, I have learned the importance of being mindful of the whole experience. We lose important information if we focus on only one component of an experience, or one side of the street. We also have the ability to choose which parts of our experience we want to observe in the background and which parts we want to fully participate in.
This is not an easy choice. There are days when it feels impossible. However, it is a choice worth practicing and fighting for. Ideally, it allows us to balance out our perspective on other people’s lives and enhances our experience of our own highlight reel.
