In both my personal and professional life one of the most common topics of conversation right now is the coronavirus. I am in no way an expert on this topic. However, the underlying theme of many of these conversations is anxiety. That anxiety can definitely be approached from an emotion regulation perspective.
When I talk about anxiety with clients, most of them label it as a “bad emotion.” In reality, while many emotions can be unpleasant, there is no such thing as a bad emotion. Rather, all emotions give us important information and motivate us.
Like all emotions, both an absence of anxiety and an extreme overload of anxiety can result in poor choices of action, or lack thereof. Think about test anxiety. If we don’t have any, we are unlikely to study. If we have too much, we are likely to freeze.
There are many situations in which I wouldn’t want people to experience a lack of anxiety. Some anxiety motivates us to take precautions. What would happen if we didn’t experience any anxiety upon seeing a bear or walking in a high-crime area alone at night. Neither would be a pretty picture. Likewise, an abundance of anxiety regarding these situations would lead to unsafe actions. We might freeze completely.
In general, a moderate amount of any emotion is the sweet spot. A moderate amount of anxiety means we study for the test, move away from bears and take safety precautions in dangerous areas. It is this moderate amount of anxiety that will help us deal effectively with the current coronavirus frenzy.
This is a time where I definitely started off in the camp of “no anxiety.” The entire situation struck me as needless panic. For that reason, I had every intention of continuing with plans to fly to Florida this weekend for a quick getaway. Some sunshine and warmth are really appealing!
Then a lot of people around me started telling me this was a bad idea. While I am not elderly, I do have a compromised immune system and a tendency towards respiratory infections. There is no reason for me to panic, but, as my doctor pointed out, there is also no reason to take unnecessary risks. He moved my anxiety into that sweet spot of moderation.
I would truly encourage us all to seek out that sweet spot. The reality is that we are learning more about this virus every day and more cancellations and closings are occurring each day. Some of them are necessary and some may be overkill. The best we can do is follow precautions without getting swiped up into the hysteria. It is that point of extreme anxiety that will lead to unfortunate choices.
I have two favorite DBT skills that are helping me, and hopefully my clients, navigate this new virus. The first, is “check the facts.” DBT therapists love to point out that emotions are always valid, but they may not be based on fact. It makes sense to be anxious, but don’t base the anxiety on mis-information such as the idea that everyone who becomes infected will die. That was the most extreme distortion I have heard so far.
Beyond checking the facts, take a “one thing in the moment approach.” Trying to plan for every scenario you can imagine will only exaggerate anxiety. I realize some degree of planning may be necessary, but we should do our best to take each situation as it comes.
For me, that means ordering some Chinese food because I am exhausted, and the “fact” is that you cannot get the virus from Chinese food!
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