Soothing yourself with food is not a horrible thing!
The idea of self-soothing with food has a guilt-inducing reputation. Yet, to think of comforting oneself with food as always bad is actually a very “all-or-nothing” approach to the topic.
I don’t know about you, but when I am sad, or anxious, I crave “comfort foods.” For me, those are most often pasta and chocolate. I don’t need to also feel guilty for indulging my cravings and I don’t…anymore.
There are reasons we crave comfort foods. Many of the foods we crave are high in fat, sugar and salt. Foods like this activate the brain’s reward system thereby increasing pleasant feelings and reducing tension. In addition, carbohydrate-rich foods trigger our bodies’ natural production of the neurotransmitter serotonin. Put simply, when serotonin levels are low, we are more depressed and when they are high, we are happier. The result is that when our bodies sense that we are down, it cues us to increase serotonin. Our bodies are pretty smart!
I should add that this relationship is a two-way street. Research has indicated that when we diet, we are likely to experience increased depression at about the two-week mark. This is when our serotonin levels have dropped from decreased carbohydrate intake.
Beyond biological causes of cravings, comfort foods are often those we associate with memories of feeling happy, safe and of belonging. That is because there is a strong link between scents, tastes and emotional memory. When we have a need for self-soothing, it makes sense that we reach for foods whose smell, or taste trigger our memories of feeling good.
Think about it, when you are down, or stressed do you reach for foods from your childhood that remind you of feeling taken care of? Do you reach for “holiday foods?” I definitely do. My biggest soft spot is the hot dog casserole my grandmother always made me!
Perhaps it is for this reason that DBT includes soothing our senses of taste and smell as skills for distress tolerance. I much prefer to think of my cravings as a skill!
Neither I, biology, nor DBT would recommend over-indulging our cravings. This is where the all or nothing thinking comes in. Eating to comfort ourselves isn’t all bad, or all good, but it is fine in moderation.
The problems arise when this is the only skill in our tool box, or one that we rely too heavily on. This is true of many of the things we do to comfort ourselves.
Many people take comfort in a nap with a cozy blanket, a glass of wine, or a favorite tv show. We watch to make sure we don’t indulge in these activities to a degree that interferes with our lives. Maybe you even soothe by escaping to a book, or a bubble bath. Certainly no one would argue that these are “bad behaviors.” Yet, even these can be overused. We don’t want them to be ways we just avoid what is stressing us out.
DBT emphasizes having a wide selection of distraction and self-soothe skills to help us when our emotions become intense. Many of them can be used while we are also confronting what is causing our distress. Think of things that are soothing to all of your five senses, but don’t rule out soothing your sense of taste as “all bad.”
Most importantly, if a moderate amount of comfort food is what you need, don’t ruin in with thoughts of guilt!
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