I know that road rage has been around forever, but it seems to me that it has gotten a lot worse lately. People seem to be using their car horns to “scream” at the top of their lungs. It makes me wonder whether these are people who scream all the time or need to scream and don’t. Given the frequency, it is probably both.
Recently I was stopped at a green light with my right turn signal on. I didn’t proceed to turn because there was a pedestrian in the crosswalk. The driver behind me decided to lean on his horn the entire time I waited. Was he trying to tell me to run over the pedestrian?
Sadly, that was one of the milder versions of road rage that I have experienced in the past few weeks. A few nights ago, I stopped at a stop sign to turn left. I looked both ways, but clearly miscalculated the speed at which the car to my right was approaching. It did not occur to me that he would be going 80mph on a back road. Definitely my fault for miscalculating. However, this driver proceeded to blare the horn, and force me to drive into the lane of opposing traffic. I am very thankful that no one was hurt.
Beyond leaving these situations with my own blood boiling, I also left them with the thought “What is wrong with people?” A few responses to this question come to mind.
People appear to have more anger bottled up then they know what to do with. From a DBT perspective, the intensity of people’s anger seems to overwhelm their ability to regulate and tolerate their distress. When that happens, we tend to react to more neutral events with much greater intensity than the situation calls for. In order to decrease our anger in these more neutral events, we need to think about what is making us so angry more generally.
All emotions involve a thought. The thought that is being triggered in road rage situations is likely one that is being triggered in many environments. For example, I have often heard people assume that when a second driver cuts them off, that second driver must think the first driver is somehow less important. It is that belief that enrages the first driver.
Now expand that thought to other parts of the first driver’s world. Do they often have the thought “other people are more important than me?” Given that the thought is likely widespread across situations, that person may react with intensified anger when the thought gets triggered on the road.
This is only one possible thought that causes intense anger in driving situations. There are plenty more! For that reason, we need to work on checking the accuracy of those anger provoking thoughts in all situations. Addressing them in this way can help prevent us from constantly being on the edge of rage. . on the roads and off!
Regardless of what thoughts are triggering road rage, we need to remember that the ultimate goal of driving is to safely arrive at a destination. Our driving behaviors need to be effective in reaching that goal. Communicating our anger on the roads can feel very satisfying in the short run. However, it does not move us towards our goal of safety. Moreover, it winds up feeling awful for all involved!
I would love to find a way to decrease the general levels of anger I see lately. For now, let’s take one step by decreasing our road rage.
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