We all find inspiration in different places. In a book I read, I found inspiration from a man who returned to his community with a commitment to better himself and the world around him. He returned from serving what was meant to be a life prison sentence.
After being raised surrounded by violence and poverty in Washington, DC, he succumbed to the violence. Fearing for his life, at the age of 17, he shot and killed a man. At that point, the system deemed him a monster and tried to throw away the key. Through his Master Plan, Chris Wilson, fought from prison to make a life of purpose. He tells his story in the book “The Master Plan.”
Sadly, there is no doubt in my mind that, prior to reading this book, I would have judged this man for his crime. I consistently try to practice the DBT skill of observing without judgement. My skills were not good enough to observe his crime without judgement. Yet, as I read this book, I could think of nothing more than the validating statement of “It makes perfect sense that this happened given the trauma he experienced as a youth.” What does not make sense, but is nothing short of miraculous, is the man that developed from these circumstances.
In DBT, we talk a lot about distress tolerance. Distress tolerance skills are intended to be used when we are experiencing emotional, or physical pain that cannot currently be changed. Sometimes we have to find ways to tolerate the pain without using methods that feel good in the short-term but create more suffering in the long term. Chris Wilson teaches us to not only tolerate but grow within the most painful of situations.
While imprisoned, Chris drew himself from the depths of depression by creating a “master plan” for a life he deemed worth living. Even within the confines of a system he experienced as “out to get him,” he could see a future for himself. He broke down the future he valued into doable steps he could take each day.
Though often taken off course by the intentions of others, he learned to choose the most effective steps towards winning his war, not each battle that arose. Chris found meaning in his terrible circumstances by taking advantage of every opportunity the prison system had to offer to better his education and practical skills. Despite incredible hardships, he contributed mentorship to those prisoners who were willing to work along with him.
Chris’s story truly struck me as capturing the idea that we may not have caused all our problems, but it is still our responsibility to fix them. This is a core assumption of DBT and one that is so hard to grasp. His journey is further reflective of the DBT belief that it is far more effective to find a solution to a behavior and problem than to spend life blaming and judging the cause.
Through his journey, Chris was able to make a powerful distinction. He had to fully acknowledge the horror of what he had done without allowing it to define him. As he explained, he had done a monstrous act, but it did not make him a monster.
When we label ourselves based on an action rather than labeling the action, it is far more difficult to motivate change. Just as importantly, when we label another person in that way, we lose out on the potential to see the person as a whole.
I truly found this book inspirational…something we could all use right now. It was also a very interesting perspective on poverty, race and the prison system. I hope if you decide to read it, you will let me know what you think! I promise, I gave away very little 🙂
