For those who don’t know, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, is a form of therapy designed to help people with problems related to emotion dysregulation. I am fairly sure that applies to the entire world at this moment in time. So, now is definitely a good time for universal practice of DBT skills.
While I am attempting to use all my own skills right now, I have been particularly focused on a group of skills for “distress tolerance.” Whether you are personally experiencing high levels of emotion right now, or coping with those around you, I think we could all benefit from some increased ability to manage distress. Personally, I am a planner, so all this uncertainty raises my anxiety and there is not much I can do to control what’s going on.
We know that distress is part of life and sometimes cannot be avoided. Distress tolerance skills recognize the reality that sometimes we need to tolerate our emotional state without attempting to change it (though there are skills for that too!). There are a multitude of ways to do this.
As I have been scrolling through Facebook, I have noticed many posts aimed at distracting us from the current focus on coronavirus. I like some of the cute animal photos! Thinking “awwww” is a great distraction from thinking “ahhhhh!”
DBT recognizes that we can tolerate distress more effectively by reducing contact with the source of our distress, or at least aspects of it. In other words, distract yourself. Currently, that might mean distracting from the news and conversations (including social media) about coronavirus. We cannot distract all the time, as we need to stay informed, but it is necessary some of the time.
Both now, and more generally, distraction can be overused. We don’t want to simply avoid all emotions. The most appropriate uses of distraction are when emotions threaten to overwhelm us and when problems can’t be solved immediately. Both of these factors are in place for many of us right now. Some problem-solving can be done, but a lot will have to wait.
DBT identifies seven sets of distraction skills. They are captured by the acronym ACCEPTS.
Activities:With lots of unstructured time on many people’s hands, we need to find activities that are non-stressful distractions. At my house, that has involved some art projects, some baking and, yes, Netflix/Hulu. We are currently watching “The Good Doctor.” Reading has been a great distraction, so feel free to use this time to catch up on my blog and recommended reading 😉 While we all need to keep learning and working, we also need to do some activities that are just fun and calming.
Contributing: Refocus your attention from yourself to others. This does not just mean financial contributions. I have seen people doing grocery shopping for those who shouldn’t go out, or sharing resources they have discovered. You can contribute to someone else just by reaching out, especially with a laugh or show of support.
Comparisons: We all have a natural tendency to compare ourselves to others which can be used to our advantage by framing our own stress in a more positive light. We can do this by recognizing others who are in more difficult situations. The warning here is that the comparison should not be used to discount your own stress. An alternative is to compare to past distressing situations you have successfully navigated. I always remind myself that I have been through worse and come out okay.
Emotions:Do things that generate a different emotional experience than the one you are currently experiencing. Watch a funny movie, or scroll through some joke websites. Look at scenes that bring a sense of calm. I like to listen to calming music to counteract the sense of urgency I am feeling.
Pushing Away: Pushing away from distress can take many forms. It can mean leaving a situation, blocking news of the distress (i.e. the news and social media), or pushing off negative impulses that come with our distress. I have found myself checking the news and Facebook far more often than I typically would, so I am trying to push of my urges to check for as long as I can.
Thoughts:We simply cannot think two things at the same time. So, distract your short-term memory with other focused thoughts such as singing a song, doing a crossword, listing facts related to a personal interest. I have one client who likes to count backwards from 1,000. That’s a little too hard for me, so I stick with turning on happy music and singing along.
Sensations: when we experience bursts of extreme distress, a strong physical sensation can be a great distraction. I typically get the most positive feedback from some form of splashing ice-water on your face, or placing a cooling eye-mask on your eyes. Other options might include spicy food, or a hot bath. People typically laugh at me for this, but I also like standing on my head.
None of these ACCEPTS skills will solve our distress, present, or, future. However, I am hoping they will help us all tolerate this together. We can do this!
Click HERE to follow psychdivry on Facebook and receive links to new posts
