A little over a year ago, I took a leap and began this blog. I had been toying with the idea of finding a way to do some writing for a while. I had a lot of doubts that interfered with me giving it a go. Then I realized that my biggest regret would be not giving it a try.
Along the way I have had a series of small accomplishments and reached a few goals. Honestly, the biggest accomplishment may have been figuring out how to set this up online. I am a self-proclaimed “technological moron.” I was proud of myself when I got this blog up and running.
Then there were small milestones like getting subscribers and growing my readership. I was very excited when I was approached to start a blog on Psychology Today (check out Emotionally Healthy Teens). My readership numbers were far higher there given the far-reaching platform.
Overall, I have felt pretty good about what I accomplished. That is, until I found some interesting statistics.
A post on the blogger page for Psychology Today gave me a reality check. The author discussed his average readership for blog posts being in the neighborhood of 15,000 reads.
Um, yeah. Deflate balloon of pride!
I am going to be brutally honest, that 6 months into that blog, I was excited when a post hit 3,000 reads. On this blog, my goal is closer to 300 reads.
Reading this other blogger’s post made me seriously question myself. I still go back and forth with thoughts of “why bother.”
As I spiraled into some pretty negative self-talk, I eventually noticed the relevance of a DBT skill I often discuss with clients, friends and definitely my kids. The skill is “compare.”
This skill recognizes our natural tendency to compare ourselves to others in an unfavorable light. “She is prettier than me, ““he is stronger than me,” “they are more successful than me.” The list of negative comparisons can be huge. The “compare” skill reflects the need to look in the other direction!
There are always people who are “more than,” but there are also people “less than.” Now, I am going to say that most of us are not very comfortable with that comparison. It sounds pretty bitchy! However, I do think there is a difference between acknowledging that there is someone less pretty, strong, successful etc. and putting those people down. We all have strengths and weaknesses. It is okay to be mindful of the fact that we are “more than” in some areas and “less than” in others.
More importantly than being mindful of favorable “comparisons” to others though, is favorable comparisons to ourselves. Instead of “look how far I need to progress,” notice “look how far I have come.”
This is a concept I have always emphasized with my kids.
As a younger swimmer, my son would consistently compare himself to those who were faster than him and he would compare his outcomes only to the higher-level goals he held. I won’t say he has stopped doing this. However, he has started to acknowledge pride in achieving “personal best” races. In other words, “look how far I came” replaces, or at least balances “I didn’t reach my goal, or achieve what someone else did.”
I am trying to practice what I preach by applying the “compare” skill to my thinking about blogging. I would love to expand my reader reach. I will continue to work on that goal. However, in the process of working towards my goals, I need to stay mindful of how far I have come from thinking about starting a blog.
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