One day when my daughter was a toddler I got down on my knees to talk to her. From that position, we were approximately eye to eye. As we chatted, her dad walked into the room. We both looked up. All I could think was “holy crap!”
At roughly 6’4, he loomed over us. At my own 5’2 inches, I have always viewed him as tall, but this was a whole new perspective. I wondered how it was that toddlers didn’t always run screaming from adults. Seeing him from my daughter’s vantage point made me realize how differently she experienced the world.
That moment in time has stuck with me over the years. Its message was brought crashing back recently. I was at a family event hosted by the barn my daughter rides at. As part of the event, riders were given the opportunity to provide a lesson to family members. My son, sister and I volunteered to be my daughter’s students.
I rode when I was very young but took the proverbial fall off the horse and never got back on. As an adult, I have taken a couple of trail rides on vacation and walked in a circle at my daughter’s barn. This time, as I sat on a very sweet horse, named Clover, I was brought back to my experience kneeling besides my daughter.
On the ground, I do not find horses at all scary. Moreover, my daughter and the many other equestrians I have watched make riding look very natural.
Sitting on that horse felt anything but natural. It was a whole new perspective. The ground felt very unsteady below. It seemed to be looking at me as if to say “one wrong move and you’ll be lying down in my sand.” The feeling grew stronger as I did some trotting. There was no doubt in my mind, that the horse was in control, not me. How does my daughter make this look so natural?
I thought about how many things people do that they make look easy. From our perspective as spectators, it is. Watch any sporting event and you will hear fans yelling instructions and frustrations when athletes don’t “just…” We forget that seeing it from the comfort of our seats is a very different experience than performing it in the moment. That’s probably why we have all seen the looks of exasperation from athletes when they get advice from an outsider.
There are moments in our lives when we get a glimpse into how someone else is experiencing the world. We see how the same activities feel so differently to people, how the same foods taste differently and how differently people can experience similar situations.
We need to hold onto these moments because it is in these moments that we remember that we cannot judge an experience we have not had or can’t accurately remember. Furthermore, we need to stay mindful of the fact that we each experience similar situations like sitting on a horse or viewing another person very differently. No one’s perception is right, or wrong. They are simply different experiences.
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