To date, my least favorite Christmas was when I was 19. I came home from college having recently broken up with my boyfriend. I was not taking it well.
I was feeling really awful physically. As it turned out, I had a fairly severe case of mono and spent the better part of the vacation sleeping.
Let’s add to that scenario the fact that my dad was recently re-married. I was trying to navigate the “politics” of fitting in to a new family unit and shuttling between my parents’ homes. While I love everyone involved, that was a difficult adjustment, and there was a lot of walking on eggshells for everyone.
I am certain that dealing with a sick, depressed 19-year-old was no picnic for my family either!
None of these facts are ideal ingredients for a beautiful Christmas. Yet, I don’t think any of these issues were what made the holiday so hard. Rather, it was my expectations.
Like so many of us, I had an expectation for a perfect “Hallmark Holiday.” The kind where everyone spends 24 hours of bliss moving from one picture perfect moment to the next. Who actually accomplishes that?!
Every year, I listen to my friends and clients describe their holiday experiences. The stories are a mix of beautiful moments, moments that belong on America’s Funniest Home Videos, and moments of anger, or despair. For every holiday hug and excited gift recipient, there are stories of traffic, burnt meals and tense family interactions.
We all hear these stories. Yet, I think we continue to hold high expectations of what our holiday celebration “should” look like.
In reality, some people hope for big and elaborate, while others hope for small and intimate. Some people look forward to staying home, while others will travel great distances. Some people will cook for days and other will enjoy take-out. Whatever our ideal holiday image, parts will go wrong.
When I think back about my “least favorite” Christmas, there were a lot of strikes against it. There were also some wonderful parts. My dad and stepmom worked so hard, in so many ways, to make that Christmas a good one for us. Honestly, my appreciation for those moments came later.
I am really looking forward to the holiday this year. Part of my excitement is seeing my parents and siblings. Part of it is some much-needed down time with my husband and kids. I have no doubt it will be a mixture of picture-perfect moments and the stress of packing up the car.
My expectations of perfection have changed. With that change has come a real sense of happiness. I just have to remind myself of that during the more stressful parts!
Very interesting.