In listening to friends and family and observing choices on social media, it seems that there are two categories of people emerging from home confinement. Both groups are dedicated to making the most of the world’s slow down, but they are doing so in opposing ways.
One group is focused on productivity and self-improvement. This makes a lot of sense to me. We are often far too busy making it through our days to complete “extras.” We can’t see our way clear to starting a new exercise routine, or cleaning out the garage. We can barely complete the basics. I feel like a broken record saying “who has time for that?” Though many are still in that situation during the pandemic, others find themselves with a sudden abundance of available time.
Beyond having the time for new projects, people want and need the sense of control these projects can give us. Let’s face it, there is nothing like a pandemic shutting down life as we know it to create a sense of powerlessness. Many of us feel the desire to exert what control we can by “thriving in chaos.” Moreover, we need the sense of mastery and competence that new projects can provide us.
So, what about the other group?
That group of people appears to believe the way to make the most of a slow-down is to actually slow down! In other words, people want to change the pace and take advantage of an opportunity to do less and rest more. It may even feel like more of a “need” than a “want.” This makes sense to me too.
I feel pretty exhausted from my typical schedule. Beyond that, I, like many, am feeling additionally drained by the sense of grief I feel. We are all mourning a loss at different levels.
I have been fortunate to not lose anyone to this virus yet. That does not mean I do not feel the pain of all the loss around me, or the smaller losses that my family is experiencing. I also feel a loss of my own sense of safety. As someone in a “high-risk” category, activities that used to feel safe, no longer do.
Grief zaps us of energy. It also deserves the attention provided by a slow-down. Perhaps we are most productive by allowing mourning to be its own activity.
I do not have an answer as to which approach, increased productivity or slowing down, is the “best,” or most adaptive. I have no doubt it varies by person and the last thing anyone needs right now is to be judged for their approach.
Personally, my approach seems to vary by day, or even hour. As I said, they both make sense to me.
However, I often struggle with evaluating my choices. When feeling productive, I have noticed myself thinking “I should use this opportunity to relax.” Yet, when feeling exhausted, I hear the voice in my head saying “you should take this opportunity to get more done.”
I would tell anyone that that the only thing we “should” do is stop making “should-statements.” We need to observe our own needs and behaviors without judgment. Taking steps in that direction is an accomplishment in and of itself.
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